With love, Men.
Dearest all,
The title might have made you wonder a bit for sure! Even we were surprised when asked about the hardships of being men in the patriarchy. It’s not usual that we are asked about our struggles, but wait, are we comparing our hardships with that of the centuries-old atrocities against the other gender? A big no!
It’s ironic how we live in a patriarchal society that isn’t that a happy place for us either! Do you remember our childhood days? When your people fell, everyone would run and console you with so much affection and warmth. But we were told that men don’t cry! Why are our tears so feminine?
Do you remember when you played with dolls and we were brought cars to play with? We never asked for them, we were fed that blue is for boys and boys ride cars. We loved the curly-haired dolls too! How much we cherished to play with those little kitchen sets of yours, you have no idea! But then we were told, women cook not men! We wonder who decided these gender duties!
We have always loved you, enjoyed your company, but when did everything become so gender-biased? We have no idea!
We unknowingly became the rulers of this system which treated you people like slaves. But did we do this? Yes, we knew about what we might be becoming and No, we didn’t expect this kind of social environment!
Are we happy about this? No!
From childhood till now, many of us can’t cry, cook, clean, or do anything on our own for we were never taught to do so! Do you know how suffocating this masculinity is at times? You might see us as some predators who mercilessly assault, abuse, or rape, but please remember one thing “Not all men are the same!”
Are you people too burdened with the over expectations over financial stability and the tonnes of responsibilities once you enter adulthood? We doubt that! We would never want to run away from our responsibilities but isn’t equality applicable here too? If we decide to share it then why are we considered worthless?
From the way we talk to the way we walk, every single thing should prove our masculinity. We live to prove things. The bullying by our gender for being a bit more emotional than the other, being scared to watch horror movies, being bad drivers, not having a good physique is painful which no man ever acknowledges.
Why there is a need to prove ourselves better? Why do we need to earn more than our life partner? Why can’t the world accept a man who earns lesser than his wife? one who looks after his kids like a father should? one who shares responsibility? What if a man is physically weak than a woman? Why is it that everything a man does gets associated with his gender?
How many of you have heard a man talking about being sexually assaulted, harassed, abused, and troubled by molesters? No one speaks these things aloud because a man can’t be weak, he should be the epitome of strength, one who fight goons on his own, showcasing the masculine strength. Weak men don’t exist in this patriarchal place just like equality among the genders.
It pains deep down the throat to see you struggle because of some male chauvinists among us, who live in a delusional world where men are some mystic superpowers on the throne of the social dynasty. Because of some, the whole gender suffers! Even if we see you as our friends, you grow skeptical about our intentions and motives. If we look at you, your mind fails to understand if it’s love or lust.
So, this is a very strange spot where we stand, we do support equal opportunity and freedom, unbiased and indiscriminate laws for all, a healthy place to survive but please don’t forget that this society is not that merciful towards the men too!
Patriarchy isn’t healthy, neither for you nor us! Life might be a bit easy for us than it is for you. And you have been suffering for ages but we aren’t happy either!
Please do understand that men with compassion, who cry, who earn less, who love more, who respect others, who aren’t judgemental of the other gender, who may be physically weaker than women, who believe in partnership than ownership, do exist. We aren’t some myths or folklore, we do live here and all these don’t make us any less masculine or this patriarchal traumatic society any better!
Maybe someday, this world will change, and that change might bring back equality and peace for all the genders. We might not have suffered as much as you have but trust us, we are silently in war with our struggles.
with love,
Men.
